The ancient Mayans predicted the world as we know it
*Please note, some people have reported that they cannot actually see the cloaks depicted in the photos shown. This can happen when one's spiritual vibration hasn't been raised to the level of AWARENESS necessary to see this magical garment. Please don't be alarmed or ashamed... it only means that you NEED THIS CLOAK NOW! Your AWARENESS needs to be raised on a spiritual, etheric level and this cloak is the perfect tool for that!.
"It's so soft on my skin!"
"It's the best thing I've ever reinvented!"
~Professor Julius Kelp
Quantum Physicist & Lead Researcher
"I wish I had one of these, it would have solved a lot of my problems."
Mystic & Faith Healer
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Feel the incredible power of the Sacred Mayan Power Pebble in your hand... you will be invincible. *Love, money, power and expensive electronic gadgets will be delivered to you from the Universe. Excess weight and wrinkles will magically disappear. Minor annoyances like hemorroids, acne, dry mouth, jock itch, excessive ear wax, sweaty hands and smelly feet will be a thing of the past. Your enemies will tremble in fear since the Power Pebble can also be lobbed at them from a short distance. No batteries required for this awesome ancient talisman!
*Actual results may vary, or not apply at all.
Unlike a certain Mayan Power Ring™ being sold on the internet in limited sizes (for ladies only) and quantities The Invisible Mayan Power Cloak™ is one-size-fits-all and available in any color imaginable! Why should survivors be limited by size and gender???The secret of the cloak is the magical fabric, an ancient Mayan rite handed down through the centuries. Deep in the rainforests of what is now called Guatemala, a small, colorful, yet invisible to the naked-eye of most unenlightened people... lives an ancient bird called the Xylxacyxjan. Don't bother trying to pronounce it, it is a word inaudible to the human ear, though worth a ton of points in Scrabble™.The ancient Mayans learned to harvest the vomit from these elusive birds, and after mixing the vomit with rare herbs from the forest while chanting incantations and *tearing the still beating heart out of a pure and accommodating sacrificial victim, they were able to weave a silky fiber from this powerful puke.
Now, our small stable of enlightened craftsmen/shaman work in secrecy creating this magical fabric to save humanity. They are all highly spiritually evolved and are clad only in this miraculous fiber as they do their work.
*Though some have expressed a measurable improvement of the mystical powers of their Invisible Mayan Power Cloak™ after a ritual sacrifice, please note that the sacrificial victim must provide written and notarized approval. Please consult a lawyer as this may still be illegal in some states and most countries around the world.
How Does it Work?
When the hoards of angry Archangels, Alien invaders, Quatzequatel, the Anti-Christ, the vengeful warrior Christ, Tea Party Republicans, Zombies and other 'End-of-the-World' instigators rain down upon the Earth, your stylish 'Invisible Mystic Mayan Power Cloak™' will render you invisible to their wrath... it's also meteor proof! It's like having the ultimate back-stage pass to the Greatest Show on Earth!
* No written or expressed guarantees are made about the use of alternative, metaphysical or spiritual tools, services and supplies. This site is for entertainment purposes only and is done in parody... "It's a joke son..." ~Foghorn Leghorn
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